(via warsanshire)

http://considerthespectrum.tumblr.com/

my better half

more relatable

more metal

Sometimes when I get high I’ll notice that my vision will literally become introverted and I can’t think of anything other than how I am being at the time. Like, I’ll become really self-aware and weirdly not in tune with my surroundings, but entirely consumed in my own head. It’s pretty strange. At work today I was still high and in this introverted thing I speak of, and I wasn’t even able to do stuff normally. It kind of pissed me off because I like to think that weed makes me more comfortable and efficient and I can work easier but not today, and I instead just fumbled around like and incessantly challenged person making a fool out of myself and being horribly awkward.

I’m going to fix it though. 

Looking at my tumblr now makes me feel weird. I have grown up so much so fast, and back when I used to write a lot on here I felt like I was mature, but I see how naive I really was. Although I feel old now, I know that when I look back on these moments they will seem immature as well. I have a lot of things I need to get over. They all have to do with the inner workings of my mind. Everything has to do with the inner workings of my mind.

When you’re sad or angry or having any sort of negative feelings toward something, if you look at it literally or think about it, you only look for the bad or the ugly; you’re eyes and mind focus on that which reinforce your perspective. Once you change your mind and allow yourself to see the beauty, you will; things are brighter, more beautiful.

Like for example, when I first moved to Muskegon, and walked around the townhouse complex I live in, I harshly judged it, I thought it was ugly and boring and full of crap because I just wanted to be home. Over the course of my time here, I have learned to appreciate my school and Michigan as a whole. I no longer have negative feelings toward this place, and last time I was walking to my apartment I realized that before I wasn’t even allowing myself to see any beauty. But now, as I look around, beauty is all I can see; in everything. And it’s because I’m happy now. Last summer when I was depressed, I couldn’t even think of any part of my future to look forward to, which I knew was skewed because I had been ecstatic thinking about the life ahead of me before that. And a lot of times you can’t help how happy or sad you are, it just depends on the chemicals your brain is producing.

Everyone should read this, for it is uncommon knowledge but absolutely critical to understand people in general. Us introverted folk are too misunderstood in America where our society idolizes the extroverted.

I have highlighted what is most relevant to me; this whole concept is the core explanation for what was eating away at me all through high school because I thought I was wrong as a person. F U SOCIETY I LOVE MYSELF NOW

and I’m winning so hard at life you guys don’t even know.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201008/revenge-the-introvert

Introverts make up 50 percent of the U.S. population. The MBTI definition of introversion—a preference for solitude, reflection, internal exploration of ideas vs. active engagement and pursuit of rewards in the external/social world… But the results still surprise; if every other person is an introvert, why doesn’t the cultural tone reflect that?

It’s not just that we overestimate the numbers of extraverts in our midst because they’re more salient. The bias of individuals is reinforced in the media, which emphasize the visual, the talkative, and the sound bite— immediacy over reflection.

“In verbal cultures, remaining silent presents a problem,” report Anio Sallinen-Kuparinen, James McCroskey, and Virginia Richmond, who have studied communication styles in the U.S. and Finland. Perceptions of competence tend to be based on verbal behavior. An introvert who is silent in a group may actually be quite engaged—taking in what is said, thinking about it, waiting for a turn to speak—but will be seen in the U.S. as a poor communicator.

Like individuals, cultures have different styles. America is a noisy culture, unlike, say, Finland, which values silence. Individualism, dominant in the U.S. and Germany, promotes the direct, fast-paced style of communication associated with extraversion. Collectivistic societies, such as those in East Asia, value privacy and restraint, qualities more characteristic of introverts.

Solitude, quite literally, allows introverts to hear themselves think. In a classic series of studies, researchers mapped brain electrical activity in introverts and extraverts. The introverts all had higher levels of electrical activity—indicating greater cortical arousal—whether in a resting state or engaged in challenging cognitive tasks. The researchers proposed that given their higher level of brain activity and reactivity, introverts limit input from the environment in order to maintain an optimal level of arousal. Extraverts, on the other hand, seek out external stimulation to get their brain juices flowing.

The dopamine-driven search for rewards shows up in characteristic extravert behaviors such as talkativeness, assertiveness, and enthusiasm. Notes DeYoung: Such behaviors are reinforced in American society, where “there certainly seems to be a cult of extraversion.”

—REALLY THOUGH—

Conversation between an introvert and an extravert can involve a series of misunderstandings. As the introvert struggles to follow multiple conversational threads and sort out his own thoughts, he remains quiet and appears to be just listening. The extravert reads that as engagement, a cue to keep talking. The introvert struggles with the continuing flow of input and soon starts to shut out the extravert, while nodding or smiling, or even trying to stop the exchange.

—hah, that happens to me all too often. They always just keep talking forever and I’ve just been staring and nodding for most of it hoping that they’d be done soon.—

The cognitive load becomes increasingly difficult to manage, as the internal talk competes with the external conversation. Moreover, while trying to keep the conversation going, introverts may miss social cues, which can make them appear socially inept. The conversation is also anxiety-provoking, because the introvert feels she has too little time to share a complete thought. She hungers to pull away and give time to the thoughts her brain has generated.

Don’t interrupt if an introvert does get to talking. Listen closely. “Being overlooked is a really big issue for introverts,” Laney says. Introverts are unlikely to repeat themselves.

A common misconception is that when I’m not talking that I must be shy. No. It’s simply that you are not worthy of my mind. I’m not going to spew my thoughts and observations in all times of my life; if I’m not interested in the topic of conversation or you seem to suck as a person I won’t say anything at all. I also don’t always have something to say; I could be in observation mode.

Also, why does society attack the quiet people? Why is it not okay to be quiet?